San Diego Family Law Mediation Attorney

When most people hear mediation, they think “settlement.” But at Contreras Law Firm, we see it differently. Mediation isn’t just about compromise, it’s about strategy. It’s about choosing the right mediator, at the right time, with the right approach to move your case forward.

Too often, people walk into mediation only to find a “messenger” shuttling offers back and forth, accomplishing little except wasted time and money. That’s not how we do it. At Contreras Law Firm, we work with a select group of highly respected retired judges, professionals we know, who know us, and who bring tremendous insight from their years on the bench. Because every judge, every mediator, and every person has a slightly different thought process, we don’t just send you to anyone. We help you choose the right mediator for your case and advise you strategically. The right mediator can make all the difference in reaching a resolution that works.

Here’s the truth: your divorce can be done as quickly as you want. Normally, divorces can take years. With mediation, the timeline is really up to you. Want it done in 30 days? It can be done in 30 days. Sixty days? Done. The speed depends on you, and whether the other side is willing to reach an agreement.

And here’s another truth: the longer your case drags out, the only people who make money are the attorneys. More filings, more hearings, and more conflict mean all sides are billing. Mediation is an opportunity to save money and keep it where it belongs: in your pocket, with your children, and with your future, not with your attorneys.

Just as important: having an attorney with you at mediation matters. Mediation still requires negotiation and skill. The agreement you walk away with is the foundation of your future. Every term has to be accounted for, every detail written correctly. That’s where we come in. We make sure your settlement is not just fast, but solid.

We love mediation. We do it every month with our clients. But we don’t go blindly. We time it, we plan it, and we use it as a powerful tool, whether your case is straightforward or highly litigious. Sometimes the best move is to mediate early; sometimes it’s about building leverage before the table is set. Other times, mediation simply isn’t the right choice, and if that’s the case, you can trust us to tell you. And when mediation won’t work, we are always ready to fight for you.

Meet the Partners at Contreras Law Firm

Can You Get a Divorce Without Going to Court?

When people think of divorce, they often imagine arguments in a courtroom, but in California, a divorce can often be completed without ever stepping foot in court. If you and your spouse agree, or can work together to reach an agreement, you can avoid this. 

Uncontested Divorce

If you and your spouse can reach an agreement on every part of your divorce, you can file together. Courts call this an “uncontested” divorce. Both sides must agree on dividing property, debts, spousal support, and if you share children, parenting arrangements and child support. You complete all the required forms and submit them to the court as a joint agreement. A judge will review the paperwork and, if everything is in order, sign off. You generally won’t need to appear in court. 

Mediation

Mediation gives separating couples space to discuss what they each want through the help of a trained, neutral third party – a mediator. The mediator guides the conversation, helps smooth over disagreements, and uncovers solutions that work for everyone. If you reach an agreement in mediation, a lawyer can prepare the final settlement for you. Those documents go through the court for approval, but there’s no requirement to go before a judge. 

Collaborative Divorce

In collaborative divorce, both sides hire lawyers trained in this process because everyone agrees they don’t want to go to court. Working in private offices, not courtrooms, everyone meets as a group to untangle finances, tackle hard conversations, and create an agreement both people can live with. When you reach agreement, the lawyers handle documenting the terms and submitting everything for court approval. 

Summary Dissolution

A summary dissolution is a streamlined divorce available if your marriage was short (under five years), both sides agree, you have no kids together, and limited property or debts. However, starting in 2026, there is no requirement for the couple to have been married for under 5 years and have no kids. Anyone will be able to file a collaborative divorce. 

What Is Mediation?

Mediation is a process that helps people going through divorce resolve their disagreements outside the courtroom. A neutral third party, called a mediator, guides both spouses through conversations about topics like dividing property, child custody, and support. The mediator doesn’t take sides or make decisions. Instead, their job is to help each person talk openly and reach an agreement that works for both. 

Everything discussed in mediation is private, and you both get a say in the decisions. If mediation works, you can avoid the stress and expense of a trial. If it doesn’t lead to an agreement, couples can still choose to go to court to settle what remains.

Divorce Mediation vs Litigation and its Benefits

When couples decide to end a marriage, they usually need to settle issues like property division, child custody, and support. There are different ways to handle these things. Two of the main methods are divorce mediation and litigation. Each offers advantages and drawbacks, and understanding them can help you make better decisions during a difficult time. 

Benefits of Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation involves working with a neutral third party, known as a mediator. The mediator helps both spouses find compromises. Here are some of the benefits:  

Keeps Costs Manageable

Mediation usually costs less than going to court. Fees are shared, and the process is less formal. Couples can often finish faster, saving money in the long run.

Offers More Privacy

What happens during mediation stays in the mediation room. Meetings are private. This privacy can help couples discuss personal issues without judgments from others.

Lets You Stay in Control

With mediation, spouses decide on outcomes together. You shape the agreement instead of leaving big decisions about your family to a judge.

Flexible Scheduling

You can set mediation meetings around your own schedule. Families find this helps them manage parenting needs or work.

Drawbacks of Divorce Mediation

Some possible drawbacks of mediation include: 

Not Helpful in High-Conflict Situations

If trust is badly broken or there is a history of abuse, mediation probably will not work. One person may control conversation or intimidate the other. 

Some Cases Need Judge’s Orders 

If someone is hiding money or lies about shared property, mediation cannot require truthful answers under oath. Judges can order financial disclosures and hold people accountable. 

Agreements Can Be Weak Without Legal Review

If an agreement is not carefully checked by a lawyer before signing, someone may agree to something unfair without realizing the long-term effect.

Benefits of Divorce Litigation

Going to court means both sides present their version of events, and a judge decides about property, custody, and support. Here is what that process can offer: 

Legal Deadlines Create Certainty

Litigation has clear timing and structure. The law sets deadlines, requiring both sides to act. That sometimes moves things forward when negotiation drags on. 

Ability to Get Truth Through Discovery

Courts demand honesty and can implement orders to make sure appropriate steps are taken by both parties. If someone hides income or assets, forensic accountants can search, and witnesses may answer on the record. 

Protection if Power Balance is Unequal 

When discussion breaks down, especially because of intimidation or abuse, a courtroom can level the playing field. Lawyers, evidence, and court orders help prevent intimidation. 

Drawbacks of Divorce Litigation

Some of the drawbacks include: 

Higher Expenses

Litigation costs add up before you even see a courtroom. You pay filing fees, lawyer’s rates, possibly court experts, all of which lead to high expenses.  

More Stressful Experience

Courtroom rules and delays feel much more intimidating than sitting around a table with a mediator. Hearings and fighting back and forth can harm families and children further. 

Loss of Control

A judge follows the law – not necessarily a couple’s wishes. Sometimes, neither person is happy with a judge’s final orders. 

Understanding both choices can help you find the method that suits your situations and needs best.

Common Family Law Mediation Issues

Mediation gives people a chance to solve disagreements without going to court. Families usually sit down together, sometimes with their lawyers, and work with a mediator to figure things out. Common issues that are addressed include:  

Custody Arrangements

Discussions about children tend to be challenging. Parents often feel worried about how time with the kids will be shared. Mediation gives each side a chance to talk about what is important to them, especially about daily schedules, school plans, and holidays. 

Child and Spousal Support

Money matters can lead to arguments. These topics cover how much one parent should contribute to expenses for children or whether one person gets support after a separation.  

Dividing Property

Home, savings, personal belongings, and even debt need to be discussed when separating. Sorting out who keeps what can be emotional for everyone. Mediation allows the parties to try to come to an agreement about these assets.

Contreras Law Firm understands that going through a divorce is already emotionally and financially difficult. The thought of having a Judge make orders regarding your finances, home, assets, and children can compound the situation. However, not every divorce needs to be finalized by the traditional public court system and hiring a San Diego family law mediation attorney does not mean that your case needs to become an outright battle.

There are several Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) options including mediation that can keep your case in your control. Mediation is a process where parties meet with a neutral third person called a mediator either in person or virtually to help resolve either some or all of the issues in the case. Although mediation can be completed with or without a San Diego family law attorney representing each of the parties, we highly recommend not going to mediation without counsel by your side. This is because during a mediation session, the mediator does not represent either of the parties. This means that they are not looking out for the other party’s best interest, but also they are not looking out for yours. Having a San Diego mediation attorney present during mediation can ensure you understand your rights under the law and the likely outcome if your case were to go to court so that you can make a well-informed decision when negotiating with the other party.

Mediation can occur at anytime in the divorce process, whether you have just filed your Petition or have been unable to resolve issues for several years. You can even go to mediation for specific issues after your divorce is finalized such as a modification of child support, spousal support, child custody or child visitation. If you and the other party are able to reach an agreement on either all or some of the pending issues, an agreement under the Code of Civil Procedure section 664.6 will be drafted that day and signed by all those who participated. Signing this agreement ensures that both parties are bound by the terms reached in mediation.

Some of the advantages to bringing your case to mediation include:

• You can resolve your case faster than through the public court system;
• It is less costly both financially and emotionally;
• The information exchanged is confidential;
• You have more control of the results because you will be the decision maker rather than a Judge in court where there is never a guarantee of what that outcome will be;
• Parties are more likely to comply with the terms they enter into because they were agreed to rather ordered;
• If preserving the relationship with the other party is something you want, there is a greater chance of achieving it through mediation than through high-stress court proceedings.

Although not every case benefits from ADR, Contreras Law Firm can inform you whether mediation would be an asset in your case whether representing you or acting as the third-party neutral mediator. If you want more information regarding mediation, contact our office to speak with one of our San Diego family law attorneys. We offer free initial consultations to all new clients. You can contact us by calling 619-238-0616 or completing our online intake form to get started.