When parents go through a divorce, there is a tremendous impact upon their children. Kids are often confused about why the marriage is failing, and they may even think that they caused these problems.
So many times, people find themselves fighting over everything and they lose sight of the toll that this is taking on their children. In this post, we provide you with a few things that you can do to help your child understand what is happening.
Talk to them about what is happening
Certainly, it is important for you and your spouse to speak to your child about the divorce. If possible, you should both be together when you talk about the changes that are coming to the family. This is a very delicate conversation, and you and your spouse need to commit to keeping your emotions out of the discussions that happen in front of the children.
Kids need to know that this is not their fault, and that these changes are happening because of the difficulties you are experiencing in your relationship with your spouse. You have to be sure, though, that you do not place too much pressure on your kids in this conversation. Try to present the facts without getting into detail or discussing matters that are too advanced for your child to understand.
Assure them that nothing will change in the relationship you share together
Your child is going to worry about what is going to happen. They want to be assured that they are still going to be able to count on both their mother and father in the future. You need to let them know that you love them and will always be there for them at any time.
This is a hard conversation to have because things are going to change, and these changes will make it more difficult for you to be a part of everything that happens. But, your children have to know that you and your co-parent are committed to making sure that everything stays as normal as possible for the child.
Speak to an attorney about your custody case before making any agreements
Many parents try to figure out custody on their own, and enter into agreements that cause serious problems in the future. This often leads to a breakdown in communication, and the parents find themselves heading back to court frequently to litigate issues not covered by the agreement.
You can save yourself, and your children, a great deal of stress by consulting an experienced family law attorney before you make any final decisions. Your attorney can make sure you get things right the first time, which can make the entire situation much easier on your kids.