When parents get divorced or end their relationship, they will often have major disagreements about what should happen to the kids. Each parent will have an idea about the type of custody or parenting plan that they will want, and there are frequently major differences in the proposals.
Finding the right custody agreement that keeps the best interests of the child in mind takes time, and it can be extremely challenging for the parties to find the common ground to do this on their own. Even after an agreement is place, parents may struggle to communicate with one another about issues concerning the children. This posting discusses some of the steps you can take if you are having problems co-parenting with your ex-spouse.
Remember to focus on the children
This is perhaps the most difficult thing that you will ever have to go through. There will be times that your only concern will be punishing your ex for all of the pain that he or she may have caused you. While this can provide you with a temporary victory, it does nothing to benefit your children. If your kids see you and your ex constantly arguing with one another, it can really hurt their ability to move past the divorce. Make sure that you understand that this is hard for them as well.
Develop a system for exchanging information
Some co-parents know that they cannot be in the same room with each other, because all they will do is argue. If you and your ex have problems meeting face-to-face, or find yourself straying from topics concerning the kids, there are things you can do to limit these unpleasant encounters.
For example, you and your ex could decide to communicate via phone, email or text only. This limits the amount of interactions that you have with the other, and could make things much easier emotionally for all parties, including the kids.
Recognize that this is a process, and results will take time
These disputes will not go away overnight. You and your co-parent both need to commit to making these arrangements work for everyone involved. Unfortunately, you may find yourself putting in more effort than your ex. While this may be extremely upsetting for you, know that you are helping your children by putting their interests first.
In some situations, you and your spouse may have difficulty resolving your disagreements. This may result in you needing to revisit the custody or parenting plan that you currently have in place.
To learn more about your options in this situation, consult the experienced family law attorneys at the Contreras Law Firm. We will listen to your concerns, and help you decide the option that is best for the future of your family.