Parental alienation happens when one parent intentionally tries to damage the relationship between the child and the other parent. It is most often seen during heated divorces or custody battles, when emotions are high and children are caught in the middle. Some common examples include:
- Putting down the other parent in front of the child
- Blocking visits or calls
- Telling lies about the other parent
- Making the child feel guilty for loving the other parent
Over time, this behavior can deeply hurt the bond between the child and the targeted parent, possibly causing long-term emotional harm.
What Are the Signs of Parental Alienation?
Signs of parental alienation can show up in a child’s words, feelings, and actions, sometimes seemingly out of nowhere. Some common ways this can manifest include:
Sudden Rejection of a Parent
A hallmark of parental alienation is when a child who used to have a good relationship with one parent suddenly begins refusing visits, shying away from calls or outings, or becoming cold without a clear explanation. Often, there’s no event or issue that explains the abrupt change, making this reaction stand out.
Repeating Adult Language or Accusations
Children experiencing alienation often repeat negative things that one adult says about the other using sophisticated insults or grown-up words the child wouldn’t normally know.
Lack of Guilt About Hostility Toward a Parent
Most kids feel upset or guilty after saying something hurtful or rejecting a parent, but with alienation, you might see no hesitation or remorse. There can be outright hostility with an attitude that cutting the parent out seems right or justified.
One Parent Undermining Court-Ordered Parenting Time
A strong red flag is when one parent interferes with or ignores the custody arrangements – canceling visits, ignoring instructions from the court, or failing to make the child available just to frustrate the other’s contact with the child.
Noticing several of these signs together, especially out of the blue, can mean someone is actively working to keep the child and the other parent apart. It
What Should You Do If You Suspect Parental Alienation?
If you start to notice warning signs of parental alienation, it’s vital to act thoughtfully and strategically rather than out of anger or frustration. Quick emotional decisions can make things worse. Here’s what you can do:
Document Everything
Keep detailed notes about what’s happening, including dates when visits were canceled, harsh words your child repeats, or any refusal of calls or parenting time. Save emails, texts, voicemails, or calendars that support your concerns.
Follow the Court Order
Stick closely to your existing custody or parenting plan, even if the other parent is not. If ordered visits are missed or communication gets blocked, make every reasonable attempt to see your child, and keep trying as the order allows.
Avoid Retaliation
It can be tempting to lash out or criticize your co-parent when they’re intentionally withholding your child from you or trying to poison them against you. However, talking badly about your child’s other parent in response often gets turned against you. Focus the conversation on your concern for your child’s well-being rather than pointing fingers or escalating drama.
Speak With a San Diego Family Lawyer
Competent San Diego family law attorneys have experience dealing with these kinds of difficult situations. They know how to gather the correct type of evidence, when to bring matters to court, and how to press for changes such as enforced visitation or therapy.
If you’re becoming worried about parental alienation, don’t wait too long to get help. Reach out to us by calling (619) 238-0616 or contacting us online to schedule a consultation and speak with an experienced family lawyer.