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Can you still co-parent if you can’t stand each other?

October 17, 2019 | Child Custody, Firm News

You’ve made the decision to go through with your divorce, but what will this decision mean for your children? How can you protect their interests while also protecting your parental rights? One way that some families choose to help their kids have stability and security after divorce is by choosing to co-parent.

Co-parenting is when both parents share things such as parenting time, decision-making responsibility and more. While they may not have an exact 50-50 split of parenting time, they have comparable amounts in order to provide their kids with as much time as possible with each parent. This requires cooperation and communication. You think this may be what is best for your children, but what if you simply can’t stand your ex-spouse?

Who can co-parent?

Co-parenting is not something reserved only for the people who get along perfectly. While you may not be able to stand your ex, you can still provide your kids with the stability and security that a co-parenting arrangement allows. One of the main ways you can make this work is by committing to communication. You will have to work together, and being willing to talk to each other is critical.

Another factor you will have to consider is your and the other parent’s willingness to put the best interests of the children above all else. You may not like each other, but if you are willing to keep the kids as the priority and protecting their well-being as the main goal, co-parenting could work well for your family.

Sabotaging a co-parenting relationship

Co-parenting will not work well if you and your former spouse cannot avoid talking negatively about each other in front of the children. You may not realize it, but this can deeply and significantly impact your kids. Another surefire way to sabotage your co-parenting relationship is to fail to have a clear and thorough parenting plan in place.

If you set yourself up for success with a good plan and commitment to make it work, co-parenting is possible, even if two California parents don’t like each other. This is not always the easiest option, but it could be the right way to provide your children with continuity of lifestyle, emotional security and a strong relationship with both parents. With this in mind, you can make smart choices that will work well for years to come.

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